For those with a medical diagnosis of a dependency (addiction) one to one counselling seldom works.  It can be a prolonged affair with no beneficial results. However for those who are currently abusing and who have not yet been taken over by addiction, one to one counselling combined with a controlled drinking/using or abstinance aim can have some success.  The Recovery in Reality therapists will only work with those patients who they think have a reasonable chance of success of reaching their aims.

Therapy and counselling have received bad press over the years.  Much of this stems from the media’s obsession with reporting on the lives of the stars and celebrities and their ‘tired and emotional’ visits to well known expensive clinics and their subsequent quick return to old ways and behaviours.  It is also sad to say that many people have had unfortunate experiences with untrained or unqualified therapists leading to feelings of confusion or of wasted time and money.  It is essential that you carefully select the therapist who is qualified and engages in professional development.  You need to engage with a therapist who has a caring and ethical approach.  Somebody who, after just one or two sessions, leaves you thinking “I can talk to this person”.  A therapist that works with you rather than dictates at you. The expensive are not always the best for your specific  needs. The Therapy Team at Recovery in Reality are all professionally trained specifically in the field of addiction treatment and in addition have qualifications and experience in other areas of counselling.

In the treatment of addiction, addictive behaviours, eating disorders and some emotional illness such as anxiety, stress or depression it is essential that you choose a therapist who has specific training and also experience in treating other patients with these disorders.  They tend to have a more didactic approach working with you using varied approaches that have an evidence base rather than a blinkered approach of one size fits all.  It doesn’t. For some it may be essential to examine childhood experiences that have been instrumental in the way you think, act and behave in the world today.  For others there may be issues of childhood abuse or trauma in adulthood or other unpleasant experiences in our lives that have led us to use inappropriate coping strategies for the memories.  These issues respond best to different types of therapeutic approach and certainly do not fit into one size fits all. Please be aware of therapists who say they can “treat trauma”.  Without specific training they can at best offer little more than a caring ear and at worse inflict more psychological damage.  Recovery in Reality’s team are all trained in the specific area of addiction treatment but also have specific training in trauma and relapse prevention and general counselling qualifications.

Specific to addictive disorders one of the major aims of therapy is to help you make the changes you need to make in your life. Often we have adopted behaviours in order to cope that have become so ingrained that we are unaware of the damage they are inflicting on ourselves and others that matter in our lives. Or, we may be aware of them but there is some pay off, perhaps at a sub-conscious level that has enabled the behaviours to continue despite the harmful consequences. At times we can be unaware of the behaviour and unaware of the pay-off to that behaviour.  Others can see it but you can’t. The therapist can help you first of all identify what these changes are in your thinking and behaving in the world in which you live and then work with you in the change process.  Sometimes we are in denial about many aspects of self and we need to breakdown that denial and then make the emotionally painful changes to thinking, believing and behaviours that, on the surface, have stood us in good stead for the majority of our lives but in practise have left us with feelings of inadequacy in important areas of our lives.  Feelings that may have lead us to seek solace in alcohol, drugs, food or other addictive behaviours or that have contributed to stress, anxiety or depression.

We can help you by exploring and identifying with you the changes you need to make.  We can offer you insight, hope, faith and courage so you can do the work needed.  We can help you find the motivation to do the hard work necessary to make changes.  But only if you are honest.  One of the drawbacks of one to one counselling is we can only help you with the material you choose to present to us.  If you choose to tell us you are doing well with no struggles there is not much we can do to question that.

It remains true that we often misunderstand the opposite sex or stereotype them and their behaviours and have consequential inappropriate expectations. Same sex groups offer the opportunity to gain identification with others and to feel less alone.

Counselling or therapy in whatever guise it might take is an essential investment in your future and it is imperative that you make the right choices.   A little research and the right time can make a lot of difference in the long run.  Impartial advice is difficult to obtain and you can become lost in the vast amount of information available on the Internet.  Although the writers of this article own to having interests in their own addictions treatment facility they also acknowledge the importance of giving people a choice but it has to be the right choice.  We hope in writing this we have remained impartial.